ceasetoexist: (Default)
Pokey Minch ([personal profile] ceasetoexist) wrote in [community profile] souljammed2016-08-14 12:18 am

The TL;DR CR Meme

THE TL;DR CR MEME

It's function rambunction let me show you the rules:

1. Post a top level with your character.
2. Others post with their characters under your top level
3. You go on and on about those two characters CR.
4. Post with your character, get the same.
ironicoolly: (consume and reprogram it)

Dave Strider | Homestuck

[personal profile] ironicoolly 2016-08-14 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
ironicoolly: (carry a flicker wavers)

[personal profile] ironicoolly 2016-08-17 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Dave Strider who tried his very hardest to be the very best. He didn't just want to be cool - he wanted to be full-stop enviably, turn-every-head-in-the-streets cool.

A boy who held himself up to impossible standards, a boy who'd been deprived of affection his entire life, a boy with an ego of glass.

A boy who'd fucked up majorly and just wanted to run away from his problems.

Then, at one of the lowest points in his life, that boy met Pokey Minch.

From the beginning, Pokey established himself as someone who's just comforting to talk to. While others that Dave spoke to would poke and pry and ask invasive questions and generally try to break the mask of stoicism that Dave wore on his face all the time, Pokey never tried to push Dave towards any topics that Dave wasn't comfortable talking with. If Dave wanted to talk about something, then Pokey would listen. If as Pokey was listening Dave decided this really wasn't something he could bear to talk about anymore, Pokey would change the subject and help Dave keep his mind preoccupied with other things. Pokey was someone who truly respected Dave's boundaries, and given that Dave's time in Waverly Bay mostly involved him being stepped all over by people who didn't respect his boundaries - people who ended up giving him serious trust issues - that means a hell of a lot to Dave.

As a result, Pokey quickly worked his way up into Dave Strider's list of favorite people. Dave genuinely began to trust Pokey, and Pokey became his confidante of sorts. Part of it is because Pokey is one of the few people who genuinely seems to be able to understand Dave's thought processes and empathize with them, but that isn't all there is to it. In a sense, Pokey is the only person Dave trusts to be able to hear some of his worst thoughts and insecurities and not think any less of him for it, as well. No matter what he tells Pokey, he feels that he can trust Pokey to not laugh in his face or tell him he's stupid. The fear still lingers at the back of his mind, of course, that if Pokey knew what I was really like he wouldn't like me anymore, but it's much less intense around Pokey than it is around, well, most everybody else Dave knows.

After all, Pokey's seen Dave at his lowest, and he chose to stick around anyway. They've been through thick and thin together now. On some level, Dave still doesn't understand why that is, and he doesn't think he deserves Pokey's friendship. Pokey listens to him when he's lonely. Pokey gives him advice when he's lost. Pokey cracks jokes with him when he's sad. Pokey forgives him for doing terrible, unforgivable things. Pokey is too kind, too patient, too understanding. As far as Dave is concerned, he just takes and takes and takes, and what has he given Pokey in return? A whole lot of heartbreak and pain.

If he were less selfish, he would cut himself out of Pokey's life forever, but he doesn't want to imagine how he'd endure this place if Pokey weren't around. Now that everyone else Dave cared for is gone, all he really has is Pokey, and he intends for it to stay that way.

He's so tired of losing people, and so he's built up a lonely little barrier around himself. He'll crack jokes, shoot the shit, and act as amicably towards others as he ever did, but he doesn't intend to truly get close to anyone anymore. He doesn't want to invest in someone who might be gone the next day.

He doesn't want to get hurt anymore.

As a result, Pokey is kind of the whole world to him right now, in terms of who's still left in Nyoi-cho. Even if he thinks Pokey would be better off without him, he can't bring himself to let go of their friendship.

What can he say? He's a needy, selfish piece of shit.

That aside, though, he isn't blind to the fact that Pokey's overprotective of him, or that Pokey can be kind of controlling at times. There are moments when this leads to frustration on Dave's end. Who the hell does Pokey even think he is, acting that way? Is Pokey looking down on him? Does Pokey think he's incapable of taking care of himself? Does Pokey think he's so stupid he isn't capable of making his own decisions?

But of course he would. Of course he should. He's seen Dave at his worst, after all. He knows for a fact that Dave is incapable of taking care of himself, that he can't be trusted to make his own decisions.

It's kind of a weight off of Dave's shoulders, in a way. It's something that honestly comes as a huge relief at times. As much as he likes to project an image of a confident, suave coolkid who's got everything under control 100% of the time, having to make his own decisions is terrifying. He can't handle the weight of the decisions he has to make, and he can't bear the thought of making a mistake and being responsible for the consequences. It would be so much easier if someone else could tell him what to do and guide him through every decision.

Dave was raised by an overprotective asshole of an older brother, so on some level he loathes being overprotected and he loathes feeling like he hasn't got the agency to make his own decisions. His gut response to having said agency taken away on any level is anger. At the same time, though, the fact that he was raised in that sort of environment means overprotection and lack of agency are all he's ever known. It's familiar.

New experiences are terrifying, especially for a boy with no self-esteem.

All in all, Pokey is an incredibly important person in Dave's life, and Dave honestly believes he'd be lost without Pokey. That doesn't mean he's going to try to force things on Pokey if Pokey comes to his senses one day and rightfully decides to sever this friendship. If Pokey decides he wants nothing more to do with Dave, Dave will quietly accept it. But until that day comes, he's absolutely not going to take this friendship for granted - even if he believes he's probably taking advantage of Pokey's kindness.