ceasetoexist: (Let's Go!)
Pokey Minch ([personal profile] ceasetoexist) wrote in [community profile] souljammed 2017-04-16 05:45 pm (UTC)

Bonnie + Ryoko

Bonnie

From the moment he met her when she was rude to him, Pokey essentially had the feeling it was okay to hate Bonnie. The thing is, selfishly, as time went on it wasn't even Bonnie herself Pokey hated so much as several of Bonnie's darker attributes and habits which Pokey could still see in himself. Needless to say, Pokey projected hard in regards to Bonnie's behavior, which helped with his often times unwarranted hostile behavior. The fact that he got on so well with Lilith didn't hurt either in the fact that he was so willing to demonize Bonnie as easily as he was.

And then August happened and Lilith started letting her true colors fly by. That was a shock for him because, surprise. He was wrong, and he allowed what he wanted to see win out instead of what things actually were, which is a reoccurring theme to him. He put up so little a struggle against Bonnie when she came to call because he believed that he both deserved this and somehow believed that just killing him would be enough, as if he was somehow the major factor in things here and not Bonnie's own trauma.

He more or less started walking much more softly around Bonnie when he could, not because he was afraid of her, but because he had been projecting so much on to her. Needless to say, he still doesn't...like the person he actually recognizes that Bonnie is, but he realizes that he was being a piece of shit in how he was treating her, which has led him to want to make some kind of peace with her. That's the major underlying reason as to why he went to see her after her part as one of the first people to go on an expedition into the dungeon in March. In turn, he was somewhat surprised that she tried to be peaceful after the events of March wrapped up.

He wouldn't say he likes Bonnie, but he trusts her more than most in regards to working with her, as well as realizing how much of a shithead he was to be one of the main people ostracizing her, especially since the tables have turned. He's likely going to be dealing with the existential problems Bonnie dealt with during the breakdown she had throughout the end of last year, which while not increasing his understanding of Bonnie, will at least make him respect her more for what she did go through and built herself back up from.

Ryoko

Ryoko belongs in the category of the few people that Pokey would outright state he thinks is a genuinely good person. He recognizes and thinks there are flaws in her idealism, but at the same time that idealism is immensely welcoming to him because of how familiar he was with it from the people he met in Mayfield. In a way he kind of wants to see Ryoko maintain at least a little of her idealism at the end of this, though he recognizes that is probably selfish on his part as well as damning hard for anyone since this place might be worse than anything he's seen before. He keeps breaking down here himself; it's no wonder that Ryoko breaks down here as well.

Still, for all the difficulties she has, Ryoko constantly picks herself back up and keeps going. She's helped a lot of people he cares about, and she's helped him, and for that he's immensely grateful. He's kind of surprised she can't tell how strong she is after the fact she's survived so much and kept herself going after so much, and realizes, or at least feels, he's done a poor job in trying to help her realize that in any meaningful way.

In a lot of ways, of the people that were disappointed in his stupid selfish bullcrap in March, her disappointment hurt the worst. Pokey didn't need help understanding just how grave what had happened was, but seeing Ryoko's reaction kept showing him just how wide ranging everything he did was. He's going to take Ryoko's statement that he needs to try harder to protect other people's lives to heart, especially after this last event.

He wants to find some way to help Ryoko, considering she's one of the people he feels deserves help the most here, but also realizes he's probably the last person who can really provide this.

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